When a charming person gives you a compliment, you feel flattered even though it doesn’t feel like they are trying to flatter you. The reason is that they genuinely believe in the praise they dish out.
In other words, they look for something in you that is worthy of praise. By paying attention to details and pointing them out, they make you feel special.
In trying to make others like them, some people resort to flattery and pandering. This strategy makes them poor conversationalists and fails to make a positive impression on the person they are conversing with.
A Compliment Should Be Specific
We are all guilty of over-flattery. Some of us do it all the time. With our boss, a celebrity we met by chance, a girlfriend or boyfriend, in-laws, and potential clients.
In an effort to bond, we tend to compliment people using age-old clichés.
Instead, look for something about your conversation partner that is specific to them.
To truly connect with people, you need to focus on what they are saying. And only give a compliment when you find something impressive about them.
People tend to dislike empty praise. They respond to honest and real connections.
By trying to please them, you come across as patronizing and your compliment will not have its intended effect.
Be frank and honest. Speak your mind and give people a compliment when you are genuinely impressed and not because you want them to like you.
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