Whether you like it or not, life is about negotiation. Learning the art of negotiating makes up for the difference between the life you want to live and the life you are currently living.
Most of our interactions at work and at home circle around the basic urges that we begin to describe as, “I want…”
A successful negotiation could make the difference between a sub-standard income and a salary that reflects your performance. It could make a relationship healthier and communication richer.
Do You Enjoy Negotiating?
A majority of your frustrations begin because you have not clearly stated what you want from people, work, your life.
“You have not because you ask not.”
If you view negotiations as ‘haggling’ and consider it beneath you, chances are you are being short-changed in many areas of your life. Stop feeling like a victim and start stating what you want.
It’s okay to ask. In fact, the art of negotiating can be a fun and playful exercise.
Have you ever observed the playful banter between the seller and the buyer at a market? Of course, it is your right as a buyer to question the price being asked in exchange of goods. How often do you negotiate a price that you think is appropriate?
Are you unhappy about the breakdown of tasks in your team at work? Negotiate a better alternative with your team lead.
Are you unhappy about a contract with a client? Or about the state of affairs in your personal relationships? Negotiate until you are both satisfied.
The danger in interactions is when one person has a lot to lose.
The greatest power (the upper hand) in any negotiation rests with the person who is willing to walk away from the table.
Sometimes, you need to distance yourself from the outcome to better negotiate the terms you desire.
Are you are scared of losing a job? Then it is highly unlikely that you will ask your boss for a raise.
Perhaps you are unhappy about your partner’s behavior in certain situations? You are less likely to negotiate with them if you are scared they might leave.
Effective Negotiation Relies On Empathy & Trust
Empathy is a powerful tool in breaking down defensive communication barriers. And defenses are the enemy of successful negotiations.
Learn to truly listen to what the other person (or party) is asking or stating. Put your own agenda aside and first acknowledge what they are feeling or thinking in the moment.
When you are in an empathic state, you are literally in sync with the other person. Mirror your partner’s body language and words to bring the defenses down so that communication starts to become more a useful dialogue. Whether you paraphrase or rely on active listening, the other person will sense your engagement and be more willing to listen to your demands.
The art of negotiating relies on effective communication. And effective communication is a series of interactions that deliver results.
Stop complaining. Start negotiating!
Sheevaun Moran is a business advisor, master coach, quantum energy thought leader and the founder of Energetic Solutions. She uses business principles with energetic techniques to help more than 25,000 entrepreneurs, CEOs and leaders bring instant focus and shifts to clarity, purpose, and profits.
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